


I’ll learn from what I lose (I can only take what’s mine)

by sharkinterviewee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Episode: s07e11 Brand New Day, F/M, Family, FitzSimmons mentions, Gen, Introspection, Missing Scene, Self-Reflection, Skye | Daisy Johnson-centric, YoYoMack mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkinterviewee/pseuds/sharkinterviewee
Summary: Everyone hates losing, and nobody likes change.With a pat on the shoulder, Mack stood and made his way back to the pilots seat, leaving Daisy free to slump further onto the floor.She stared up at the ceiling, fingers drumming on her abdomen. It was quiet up here. With everything shut off, there wasn't even the ambient sounds of a ship humming in the background.It was almost peaceful, drifting in space like this.The conversation with Mack left her chest feeling achy. Left her feeling a bit more settled too, in a way that hadn’t really sunk in yet. In the uncertainty of things, she didn’t know how she was supposed to be okay with this- with them, coming to an end.Daisy, family, and lessons she never got to learn.
Relationships: Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson & Agents of SHIELD Team, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	I’ll learn from what I lose (I can only take what’s mine)

**Author's Note:**

> takes place during 7x11, so spoilers for that episode. No spoilers for the finale though (author hasn't seen it at time of writing, so don't worry)

With a pat on the shoulder, Mack stood and made his way back to the pilots seat, leaving Daisy free to slump further onto the floor.

She stared up at the ceiling, fingers drumming on her abdomen. It was quiet up here. With everything shut off, there wasn't even the ambient sounds of a ship humming in the background.

It was almost peaceful, drifting in space like this.

The conversation with Mack left her chest feeling achy. Left her feeling a bit more settled too, in a way that hadn’t really sunk in yet. In the uncertainty of things, she didn’t know how she was supposed to be okay with this- with them, coming to an end.

She thinks it’s one of those lessons she’s never learned, about family. Because that’s just it. This team is her family. It’s her first one, and her only one.

That’s the thing about finding a family for the first time when you’re an adult. You never learn these lessons.

Most people grow up with parents, or a sibling that sticks with them no matter what, a foster family they actually got to stay with for more than a few months.

Even in this new timeline, both of Mack’s parents are gone, but the kid has a brother and an uncle there for him- it might be a different one than what their Mack remembers, but it’s still a family.

That’s just it, isn’t it?

This team is Mack’s family too, but it’s not his first one. His brothers, his parents, they were his family growing up- and isn’t that supposed to be the story? You grow up, leave home, and make a new one. Over and over.

It’s one of those lessons most people get, and Daisy never got to learn.

Simmons, Coulson, May, Fitz- they were her first family, her first home. But they had families before her, growing up and leaving home is just something they did, something most people do. A natural, normal process. Just part of life.

But this team is her first family, and she’s not had them nearly long enough. Daisy’s not ready to leave the only home she’s ever known.

But it doesn’t really matter if she's ready, does it?

* * *

Whatever happens to the team after this, she knew that Mack and Yo-Yo were sticking together, just like Fitzsimmons. Because in a normal life, some members of family were transient, and some weren’t. The ‘see you next thanksgiving, only get together on Christmas’ sort of family relationships- most people have already had that.

Maybe that’s why this was so scary. Daisy never had a family that returned to her, or that she was able to return to. No regular reunions with people that she loved, people who loved her.

Even though it probably wasn’t the best thing to think about right now, Daisy couldn't ignore the memories from the early days of the team this drudged up- like the first time she thought they might lose Simmons for good.

What was it? The third? Fourth mission together? It wasn't that long after Daisy (Skye) joined that Jemma had gotten sick, and they didn't know if they could save her in time. Simmons had been avoiding her dad's calls for awhile before the alien infection incident, because she didn't want her parents to worry.

After Mack’s comment about phones, Daisy realized she’s never had someone call to check on her like that, never had a family who touched base just because they missed her.

She trusted her team with her life, and more. Maybe she should trust them with this too. That leaving doesn’t mean gone.

Daisy wrapped her arms around herself, pushing past the thickness in her throat as she tried to remember funny stories that Jemma’s told her about family holidays gone bad, about aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents, and the disaster repeating every year.

Most people get that. The experience of nightmare family reunions is a steady thing in their lives.

Grandparents. Fitz and Simmons are gonna be grandparents after this. If everything goes right.

They’ll have a kid, their kid’s gonna move out, and one day they’re gonna be those grandparents coming to the big get togethers on the holidays. But they’ll still be together. The two of them.

It was a comforting thought, really. Amidst the storm of worry and dread and hope swirling in her chest right now.

There wasn’t anything for her to do other than lay here and think, really. During the in-between. So that’s what she did, staring up at the ceiling, letting the quiet fill her lungs.

Daisy thought about Fitzsimmons, thought about Mack and Yo-Yo, thought about home and family and reunions.

It... would probably be more productive to get what rest she could, wouldn't it? Instead of focusing on the mess running around in her head. No use going in circles.

With a frustrated sigh Daisy shifted onto her side, resettling against the backpack that was the closest thing she had to a pillow right now. After a few moments she was able to reach some approximation of comfortable. It was better than nothing.

Daisy slowly exhaled. She found herself looking at Daniel again.

She thinks maybe she can take a piece of her home with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [1996](https://youtu.be/ifLpnY423DA) by Wild Child
> 
> Author's note edit: I have now seen the finale, so comment what you will, and other readers venture into the comment section at your own risk


End file.
